The Email That Got Me a Six Figure Job After Seven Years as a SAHM
This is the story of how one email got me a six figure job. Me, a stay at home mom, who had “stayed home” for seven years, a full-time, fully remote, six figure job doing something I love.
But you’ll need a little background. I’ve freelanced as a copywriter for ten years. Not consistently, but here and there. I’d have seasons where 10 hours a week was doable. I’d have six months or a year where freelance felt unthinkable. One year, my two older kids were in school, and my youngest napped five hours a day. During that time, I worked early mornings and was putting in 25–35 hours a week.
I have four kids. When I sent the The Email (as I will heretofore call it), all four were 7 and under.
My long-term plan with my husband had always been that I would go back to work and he would be the stay at home Dad. We wanted our kids to see what we hadn’t. And I wanted to work. I was good at it. We moved from a big coastal city to the Rocky Mountains so that we’d have financial wiggle room and more childcare options. Unlike some, family help was not an option, but moving to a less expensive part of America meant we could afford babysitters or even a nanny.
Proving to Myself I Could Be a Fantastic Mom AND a Working Mom
I grew up in a traditional, conservative family. Dad was a primary care physician. My mother was a stay at home mom. Both worked incredibly hard. And both held lots of “ands”. My dad was a gardener, builder, woodworker, home cook, church volunteer, soccer coach, devout Christian, and avid reader. My mom, an artist, teacher, Tai Chi student, yogi, home cook, home organizer, dancer, devout Christian, and emotional psychic. I saw both as dynamic individuals.
But somewhere along the way, in church, in my community, and at home, I learned women shouldn’t work outside the home. That it hurt “the family”. That it was selfish. That a husband must be lazy if a woman had to work because why would she work if she didn’t have to? That a woman’s primary goal was to marry, have children, and then care for what she’s created because, well, that was what she was born to do. Care.
Flash forward to 2013. I’m sitting on an overturned bucket in my tiny, sunny Berkeley backyard, staring at the fence. I can’t move. I’ve been sitting on this bucket for two hours. My kids are milling in the yard, playing together, then tugging at me. They’re content but curious at why their mom is so still and staring.
A brief moment of clarity, and I text my husband. “I can’t do this. I’m not okay. I need help.” He gets on the BART in San Francisco, and comes home to me. He hugs me. He calls the hospital. He gets the kids ready. Packs food. And puts us in the car and drives me to a psychiatrist, where I’m listened to, actually really listened to. She’s a mom, too. “It can be too much.” She prescribed immediate relief. Long-term relief.
My particular diagnosis isn’t important to this story of The Email but this moment, where I broke and then demanded help, is. It was a baby step in me learning how to ask for help, which is something I never did. I was 28.
When I Knew I Was Ready to Make a Move
Fast forward to 2018. I’m 32. I’m ready to look for a job. My first full-time job in 12 years. My writing portfolio is strong. I’ve hustled and reached out and done work for companies I probably had no business doing work for. Airbnb, Johnson & Johnson, Paragon Publishing, Penguin Random House. But my head is finally in a place where I’m ready to prove working full-time won’t make my family apart. I’m grateful to have stayed home with my kids for seven years. It’s what I wanted; it’s always one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
How This Stay at Home Mom/Writer Went Back to Work Full-Time
Where does a stay at home mom turn when she’s ready to go back to work? To the village she’s invested in for eight years. To the women she’s parented beside at the playground and park, racking up hundreds of hours of diaper changes, nursing, and hugging boo-boo’s. To the women she’s worked with as a volunteer, teacher, and confidant. To the women she’s sat in pews with, who she’s cried with. To the women she’s known since she’s young; ones she shares blood with, ones she as good as shares bloodlines with. Friends that have become family. And also to the women who saw her as a working professional, or only as a working professional. People who don’t know her as a mom, just as a reliable writer referred to them by a friend.
Google Docs. Always Google Docs
So, that summer of 2018, I sat down, opened a Google doc, and made a list of every person I knew that could maybe help me find a job. They were freelance designers, UX designers, UX writers, stay at home moms, social media influencers, bloggers, Design Directors for billion dollar tech companies, photographers, content marketers, middle school teachers, programmers, cook book authors, content strategists, product managers, interior decorators, friends from Alt Summit, and past clients. Anyone I could think of who knew me and would be somewhat invested in me personally as a friend or professional acquaintance, I included on the list. Because you never know who knows who.
The list included hundreds of names. Too many for me to include in one BCC email. So I sent the email in four different batches.
What was in The Email?
One night after my kids were in bed, I sat down and wrote the email. I was feeling angsty and like I had nothing to lose. It was time to make a move to change my life.
I wrote the following:
Yeah, it was vulnerable. After I hit send on all four emails, I went to bed and laid there in the dark, regretting everything. I was so embarrassed. But I woke up to in the morning changed everything for me. Over the next four days, I received 30+ email responses. Some said the following:
The responses varied from good job, I should do this, I’ll let you know if I hear of anything, what are your rates, to let me introduce you to someone. I’m sure there were some people who received the email and felt embarrassed for me. Immediately deleted it. But I just needed one to work to make it worth it.
The Result of Sending The Email
10 interested clients
7 intros
5 calls
2 offers
I was ecstatic. It was from one of these intros, from a Design Director at a large tech company, that changed everything for me. I’ll be forever grateful to this person. (I sent her a gift to say thank you but still doesn’t feel like enough, three years later.)
The Offers I Received From This ONE Email
What were the offers I received based on this one email I sent to my network?
- One for ongoing contract work for a company I was excited about at my premium rate.
- Another for a full-time remote position at 100k+ with benefits.
3. HOLY CRAP (see below)
This is where I throw in that there was a third option that popped up AFTER I had received these first two offers. From my DREAM COMPANY. From the company I’d moved to Utah hoping to work for. I’d literally written in my journal two years prior: In 2018, we’ll move to Utah to be closer to family and so I can work full-time. I will work for xxx company. I spoke it out loud like a hippie manifester and then prayed about it. And then it happened.
It wasn’t an offer, but it was the CMO expressing sincere interest in pushing me as her candidate to be the Content Director. We met in person and I was blown away by her. I ultimately went with the offer I already had for full-time because that felt right, but this experience has stayed with me as an example that what we say and believe for ourselves can and will manifest with hard work.
What I Learned From Getting Brave With Email and My Network
At the end of the day, that simple email I wrote in five minutes was the gateway for me to returning to the workforce full-time and supporting my family. It opened many more doors for me, professionally, spiritually, and personally.
Sending this email, accepting the job, and working full-time helped me prove to myself that it is possible to be a fantastic mom and a full-time working mom. I was happier and busier than I’ve ever been and I LOVED it. It also gave me a huge appreciation for the working moms around me and all over. It’s a privilege to primarily stay home with children and sitting on the other side of the table, even by choice, was humbling to say the least. I needed that perspective shift and gratitude check.
For the first time I finally understood some of what my husband felt, supporting us and balancing family time and a demanding job. It was huge for our marriage for me to finally have that empathy towards him AND for him to see the other side later as a full-time stay at home parent.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from sending this email and working full-time was that if something isn’t working, you can change it. In my head, I’d always recited scripts in my head of why working would hurt my kids, or me, or that I’d never be able to change if I was working and it wasn’t, like, working. Like once I accepted a job I was stuck forever. But that’s not true. You can always make changes.
“If it’s not working, you can always make changes.”
Sure there may be limitations, but at the end of the day, it’s always your choice. You can change companies, hours, look for more pay, less pay/fewer hours, no commute/commute, work from home/not work from home. There are a million iterations of work and what works for one woman may not work for another.
This experience blew my “you can never be a working mom” script out of the water. All because of one email. When’s the last time you’ve sent a brave email? Reached out to ask for professional help to people invested in you?
If you get brave and send an email like this, please share it with me? It means so much. My email is koselicummings@gmail.com
